Time flies when you’re having fun. Certainly. One day down and already we’d feasted on a number of fine local brews and food with friends, and here it was, already day 2! We’d managed to get up early enough to tag along for some climbing on Mt. Lemmon with Ali’s roommates and still get the car packed and ready to go by 2:00 p.m. And there we were, gassed up and within a block of the I-10 onramp when Cinderella suddenly died on us.
Yep, time certainly flies when your ass is broken down and your grand beer trip hasn’t even started yet. Our worst fears had come true. Cinderella just wasn’t cut out for this trip. She’d gotten cold feet, and in no time at all got skittish that her coach would turn back into a pumpkin and split the big show. Fortunately for us, we were able to coast into an Auto-zone and begin triage.
Three hours later, and thanks to the mystical powers of the Universe and Kyle of Auto-zone, Cindy was up and running like a champ. Not the fuel pump. Not the distributor cap. It was a tiny 1-inch cube of bull-crap fuel relay fuse that if you take out and drop on the ground, it resets and makes all of your problems go away. Seriously. Who said violence never solved anything?
Having narrowly avoided heart-breaking disaster, Ali and I were in need of strong drink, and could clearly see the writing on the wall: Nimbus. We’d made a fatal call in not paying homage to Nimbus the night before, and the monkey god had retaliated in kind. But hey, that ol’ burly ape is more than happy to forgive so long as you drink up all his fine brew. And fine brew it is…
The Beer:
Nimbus was started in 1996 by Nimbus Cuzie (don’t know if that’s how you spell his name) and apparently at one time was selling his budding beer out of his back door for .50 cents a glass. Nimbus still bottles their beer using an old 1950’s style Coca-Cola bottling machine (Laverne and Shirley, as it’s called) and has become the largest microbrew distributor in AZ. Did I mention their beer also kicks ass?
I.P.A: This is easily one of my all-time favorites now, not just amongst IPA’s but beer in general. Dark caramel colored, rich in taste but still smooth, this isn’t an IPA that’s going to assault you in a dark alley with its over-abundance of hops. This IPA will instead do some juggling act, tell a funny joke, or maybe free-style for you, but either way you’ll be left feeling a little exuberant and awkwardly satisfied. “What a charmer…and an IPA!”
Red: Ali nearly swore off Nimbus beers when she had a bad encounter with a bottled Red once, but after getting it straight from the source, she’s a born again believer. Not just red for namesake, the beer boasts (incoming pun!) colorful taste close to a pale or an amber.
Evil Blonde: Some breweries might wince and shudder at the thought of mixing their beers together, but Nimbus defies conformity at all corners. The Evil Blonde is a mix of the Red and blonde ales, and snaps and clacks her femme fatal heels as she struts down your throat. If the blonde wasn’t good enough for you, it’s probably because she wasn’t evil enough.
Baboon’s Ass: Another mixer, combining the Monkey shine and Red ales. Its as erotically hypnotizing and morally affronting as its namesake.
The Stumble: Combines the Monkey Shine and the Stout. Be warned, this beer might assault you in a dark alley. Yeah, its all charm and laughter at first, then it’s asking to borrow a hundred bucks and making eyes at your girlfriend. A good pal, just watch your back.
Though not all of Nimbus’ beers are listed here, I highly encourage you to quite your job(s), move to Tucson, and take up residence under one or more of the tabs at Nimbus brewery. Your life will not have been wasted.
Rating: 219 out of 223 flying feces.
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