Left Hand Brewery (Longmont, CO)

 

All left handed

From Oscar Blues we continued our trek into Longmont, which is just outside of Boulder.  In Longmont, our trip had finally cultivated at one of our most anticipated breweries for the whole trip: Left Hand Brewery.  Left Hand is the home of many quality beers, such as the milk stout, which Ali claims was the beer that converted her into a beer enthusiast.  This Sunday was indeed turning into quite the religious experience, and Left Hand did not disappoint. 

What should be understood about Left Hand Brewery is that they specialize in dark, rich, juicy, somewhat orgasmic beers.  Forget lagers, blondes, or ambers, Left Hand does a Pale, IPA, and then the dankest dark beer in the world.  I wager that this may be my favorite brewery this tour (though there are many more contestants to come) but Left Hand left me feeling euphoric and elated, misting-up a little even with dark chocolaty tears.

The source of so much glory

400 lb. Monkey (IPA):  This English-style IPA may not impress everyone, but it’s certainly good enough to make it onto the list. 

Black Jack Porter:  A thick, chocolaty brew, you may feel as if you’re being refreshed with a smooth, cold beer or by washing your face with molten liquid gold.  Ahhhh…love the way that molten hot gold exfoliates and softens.

A rare photo of Ali sneezing and laughing

Milk Stout:  If you haven’t tried the milk stout by now, you may be guilty of wasting your entire life.  If you’ve been drinking Guiness all this time and thinking that this is what a quality stout tastes like, then you most certainly have been wasting your entire life.  Though chocolaty sweet and smooth, unconventional for a stout, you can’t hold a finger against this one.  Getting this beer on nitro tap makes it even better.

Fade to Black:  This is Left Hand’s seasonal Pepper Porter, the third edition.  Do you see a trend here?  You got the part about the specializing in dank, dark beers, right?  One might think that brewing peppercorns with a porter would only add to its demise, but I’m sure someone thought the same about putting pepper on cantaloupe.  You certainly can taste a peppery finish on this one, and it’s just as good as when you put pepper on pretty much anything.

Jeff and Claudia enjoying my company

Wake Up Dead Imperial Stout:  This is certainly the coupe-de-gras of the Left Hands in my opinion.  Describing it would be like describing a kiss by Shiva or one of Vishnu’s farts.  Sweet yet spicey.  Powerful yet modestly subtle.  Indescribable and somewhat at odds with itself.  

Rating:  500 out of 10 irrelevant numerical rating systems.